I thought this would be the easy part. I am not a therapist or counselor; I do see one weekly.

I am simply a daughter, mom, wife, sister, friend, book lover… human who lost her mom, her person. I wrote this along my journey with grief after my mom passed away.

I looked for people who could relate to what I was going through, for books that were not looking back on grief but of someone currently going through it. I just wanted to feel like I was normal; that what I was feeling was normal.

Losing my mom… changed me, changed my whole outlook on life. You always know that the day will come but I don’t think you are ever ready for it.

I felt like I shouldn’t grieve for as long as I had and still am. That I shouldn’t be as upset.

I also looked and was surprised at how most of my family abandoned us during that time. It was like we died with her.

It was a very difficult 2023. I had been diagnosed with cancer (melanoma), my mom died, and then they found a macroadenoma (pituitary tumor).

The only person I wanted to talk about everything with was the person who was no longer there. I started writing her letters, trying to find that connection to her.

It took 7 months before I could even attempt that. I was just a vessel, going through the motions, holding on to a tiny string, and praying I would get through.

Writing to her gave me a release. I felt like she could hear me and was with me.

. .