It Started with a Pickle Crock . .

. my life that is.

You see Mom was very pregnant with me and was inadvisably moving a heavy clay pickle crock in the garage, unpacking from the big move to our new house. She felt a twinge and soon was in labor with me a full month early.

I have a few peculiarities which I attribute to the extra month of prenatal development that I didn't get. Just ask my wife and kids, they'll tell you that my brain function is impaired.

I'll let you be the judge. It Started with a Pickle Crock takes a look at my life, using embarrassing pictures of myself and others whenever possible.

It covers my childhood with stories about my big sister, ill-advised neighborhood games, adolescent science experiments, poker, football, and dancing. I delve into such grownup affairs as customer service battles, irresponsible parenting, vacation mishaps, workplace weirdness, beer, and gruesome animal tales.

I move on to an impartial look at spousal arguments (they're all her fault), and list words and phrases which my family has banned me from saying. I recap injuries I've suffered over a lifetime of activity and present to you some unfinished stories which, if I had more discipline, could become bestsellers.

My 8-month-baby mind tells me so. The final chapter is a compilation of random things presented in Jeopardy format.

Ready? Hands on buzzers. Go.

. .