It all began in a townhouse in Dresden, Germany, 1920. There was Marthe and Friedriech, and then, for some reason, there was me.

I never knew why I had been born, or what had caused my existence to be so engulfed in torment and shame. Was I not fully human? Was I truly just a broken thing in this world? I questioned these things every day of my life.

Every day I had to hear my father’s insults and curses. Every day I had to watch him put his hands on my mother.

Every day I had to endure his fucking beatings. Why had I been born if I was going to be despised and mistreated? Why had I been born if I was only going to be punished for everything I was? I couldn’t understand my father’s anger and abuse.

I couldn’t understand my mother’s indifference and struggles. All I knew was that I was there.

I was forced into a place in life I had never chosen, a way of life I had never chosen, and later a uniform I had never chosen. So this is I, Christoffer Dahmitz, and this is the story of all the lives I lost.

Content Warning:This work contains graphic depictions of physical abuse, sexual assault, war-time violence, and murder. .