A PSYCHO’S GUIDE TO ANIMAL COMPANIONSHIP explains to idiots, lunatics and you, how to entice 20 different animal species, including the Sphinx, to engage in ludicrous activities not only impossible in real life, but nearly impossible to imagine. Whether your pet is a dog, cat, wolf, oyster, hippo, or grizzly bear, this book offers step-by-step instructions on how to wrap him, her or it around your little finger, or in the case of the python, around your neck.

Each article in A Psycho's Guide includes A Helpful Hint for the Compassionate (name of animal) Companion, such as: Never ask your grizzly bear to help a frail salmon across a stream; Never let your parrot get the last word; and Never take a cruise on a ship a rat has abandoned. Each Helpful Hint is followed by Five More Things a (name of animal) Companion Should Know, such as: Never let your oyster chew gum; Never ask your horse to take sides in a shoot-out; and One hippo at a time on the ferris wheel.

Following the articles is an Appendix that explores Clandestine Cat Cabals and Cults, which contains the Feline University Course Catalog. Not smart to read while one's mouth is full of hot coffee, if A Psycho's Guide isn't the funniest book you've read in your whole life, the animal you read about last will give you your money back.

To avoid being sent to an asylum, it's best not to read the book out loud, and for one's own mental well-being, only one word should be read at a time. .